The Art of Racing in the Rain

This month something happened to me that has never happened in the eight-plus years I have been doing the show.

Something terrible and devastating and humbling—something that rocked my literary self-esteem to the core.

Perhaps I’m exaggerating just a tad…

This month I fell in love with a book—our bookclub pick—The Art of Racing in The Rain.
My infatuation was immediate and intense and totally unexpected, like showing up for a blind date arranged by your sister and seeing Brad Pitt waiting for you with a single red rose and a Café Mocha.

The book was #4 on the NY Times Bestseller list. I knew people who loved it (including my co-host, Jim Ott and a guest on this show, Melanie Bentley), but I had my doubts. There are just so many books (I would venture to guess about 75%) that I start and just don’t finish.

Not to mention that the Cliff Notes/Entertainment Tonight version would be:

A racecar driver has a dog who is old and will soon be put to sleep. In a series of flashbacks, the dog remembers all the tragedies and triumphs of a very dramatic life with his master, full of wisdom and love that will warm the heart of anyone who has ever loved and lost a dog.

Big Yaaaaawwwwwnnnn. Plus, besides Marley and Me (and for dog’s sake, I cried enough already between the book and the movie), who can really get excited about a book in which you know in advance the dog dies?!

But from the very first page, I fell in love with Enzo, the dog narrating the novel:

Gestures are all that I have; sometimes they must be grand in nature. And while I occasionally step over the line and into the melodramatic, it is what I must do in order to communicate clearly and effectively…I have no words I can rely on because, much to my dismay, my tongue was designed long and flat and loose, and therefore, is a horribly ineffective tool for pushing food around my mouth whie chewing, and an even less effective tool for making clever and complicated polysyllabic sounds that can be linked together to form sentences. And that’s why I’m here now waiting for Denny to come home—he should be here soon—lying on the cool tiles of the kitchen floor in a puddle of my own urine.

Is that great literature or what?!

Enzo is wise and wonderful and loving and selfless and human in the best sort of way that one would wish an actual person could be human. Enzo is everything you could possibly want in a dog, friend, companion or narrator. And, of course, it didn’t hurt that I am the human (politically incorrect to say “owner” anymore, as if another being could actually “own” another being!) of a dog

who I can only say, with the utmost underestimation, I consider to be very special.

So, anyway, I fell in madly in love with this book and wanted another guest for the perfect discussion, so I invited one of my extraordinarily well-read, articulate, beautiful friends to read the book. I knew that she was a dog-lover and couldn’t wait to rhapsodize about the wonders of this book with her.

Surprise—a couple of days before the show, I got this message:

Heads up - I just finished reading and I am not a big fan of this book!

Yikes! I had to go back to the book and read all the glowing reviews and see the awards that it had won to reassure myself that actually, I had not been a sucker for some overly done sentimental piece of crap about life and death…(no offense to those of you who liked Tuesdays with Morrie)

No matter. On the show, my friend’s differing opinion of the premise of the book added a lot to the discussion—even though, if I remember correctly, she did refer to me as crazy at least once—a description that I happily embraced, and might have even suggested.

Also on the show—Cynthia Brian, the ball of energy and inspiration who is the author of Be the Star You Are! For Teens. More later…

And, just in time for Spooky October, Irma Slage, author of Phases of Life After Death. She really does See Dead People!

When We Were Colored

This month’s show is the perfect example of exactly why I LOVE doing In A Word.

This month, I had the Triple-whammy experience of reading a book that I normally would never pick up on my own (the Dublin “One City, One Book” selection); absolutely falling in love with it; and then—the cherry ontop—I had the honor of meeting and interviewing the amazing author.

That’s as pretty close to heaven as it gets for a book geek like me. To summarize:

Incredible book:

Funny
Thought-provoking
Historically edifying
Emotionally moving

A memoir of Eva Rutland’s time as a stay-at-home, “colored” mother of four in the days leading up to civil rights in America, the book was first published in 1964—the same year that the Civil Rights Act outlawed racial segregation. Then it was titled, “The Trouble with Being Mama.” Rutland’s goal was simple—to seek common ground with white women through the universal experience of motherhood. The book has been recently reissued, with a new title, a new foreword, and the assistance of the author’s daughter, Ginger Rutland, an editor at The Sacramento Bee.

Rutland writes genuinely and lovingly of her childhood in the South in the days of segregation. Her grandfather, a former slave, had built a successful business and put every one of his dozen children through college. Although it’s hard for us to imagine, Rutland remembers her middle-class “colored” youth as magical, “How beautiful it seemed--Atlanta, with its ermine-trimmed, diamond-studded, velvety cloak of segregation.”

It turns out that life was much more difficult and complicated for Rutland once she moved with her husband and small children to “liberal” California, which did not officially segregate whites and “coloreds,” but had a strong undercurrent of prejudice that was much more difficult to navigate than the clear delineation between the races in the South.

For example, even though there were no boundaries of white and “colored” parts of town, when Rutland and her family wanted to buy a lot on which to build a house, they had to get a white friend to buy it and then sell it to them. The owner would not sell directly to a “colored” family.

Rutland’s soft touch brings you gently into her world, makes you empathize with her as a mother, and then knocks you over with an anecdote about the reality of being “colored” at that time. The personal and the politics are seamlessly woven together and that is the power of the book.

Incredible author:



Inspiring
Brilliant
Resonating

As I read this book, it seemed like Rutland was telling my story, although, on the surface, we could not be more different. Eva Rutland is a Black/African-American/“Colored” mother who tells of raising four children in the 60’s in the midst of the rapidly changing world of segregation and integration, and all the everyday challenges of any mother trying her best to take care of and teach her children well. By contrast, I live in a multi-cultural city that embraces, even celebrates, diversity. While Rutland’s daughter was forbidden to play with one of her white friends because the friend’s mother believed that “Negroes were dirty,” my children bring home friends of all colors and races, without a fleeting thought to their differences.

Still, as Rutland supposed, we mothers have common ground.

My favorite part of the book had nothing to do with race. It was when Rutland reflects upon all the time she has spent volunteering for child-centered activities like Girl Scouts and PTA—many times leaving her family at night to attend meetings or spending lots of energy on things that we supposed to be “enriching” for the kids, but often turn out to be more about the egos and social lives of the mothers.

Her conclusion, and I’m paraphrasing here, “If I had it to do over again, I would spend more time reading books, reading myself and reading to my children and cleaning the house.” Well, I agree with the reading part at least.

Incredible discussion:

Two passionate guests who lived through this period in California—one as a child and one as a parent.

A Must See show! You can watch online, streaming video! Just click here and watch the show M-F at 6:30 am, 1 pm and 9:30 pm.

Eva Rutland is a hero—not just for her courage, good sense and elegance in speaking out and finding common ground in a time of racial divide and fear—but for giving us all an example of how powerful the written word can be. To make us understand, to make us feel, and bring us, as readers, into a world that we would have otherwise never known—leaving us the wiser and richer and, maybe even kinder for the experience.

I leave you with these words, from the new foreword, Rutland writes, “Now, almost fifty years later, life in America has changed, but my story is as relevant today as it was then.”

August In A Word

“Oh, Da, Da, Dear, Dear,” as one of my favorite characters of literature, Piglet from Winnie the Pooh would say.

I am quite behind on my blogging. It is not for any lazy lack of literary gusto, but because all these pesky personal things (which I will not bore you with) keep getting in the way.

Oh, Bother.

Our July show features the very fabulous Christine Arylo, author of Choosing Me before We--the book that EVERY WOMAN SHOULD READ before entering into a serious relationship—especially marriage.

Wisdoms that, if followed, would save single females many years and tears chasing after the wrong man, fantasizing about the impossible dream man, and rebuffing the perfectly good, (if, perhaps style or hair-challenged) man who could potentially be the right guy for a lifetime of happiness. It should be noted—the book is not about being selfish (as some might surmise from the title) or about settling (as some might surmise from my description), but about finding yourself, knowing yourself, and then being open to letting the right guy into your life without judgment or ego.

Perfect for the young single girl or the newly-divorced cougar!

On to the bookclub discussion:


The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society.

I liked this book in the same way I liked the title. Intriguing at first, then charming, then a bit cloying and ultimately predictable, but overall enjoyable.

I picked up the book when it first came out in hardback and Judy Wheeler from Towne Center Books assured me that it would be a NY Times Bestseller. I read the first three pages and did not have a problem putting it down. So many books, so little time!

Later, as Judy prophesized, the book hit the Bestseller list. All of a sudden, EVERY bookclub seemed to be reading it. And I can see the appeal. The book is quirky funny—clever, and a quick, easy read. But most of all, the book is a love letter to the power of literature, books in general and how reading and discussion and community around books can enrich a person’s perspective and even change one’s life.

In other words—a great bookclub pick!

And, as Pooh Bear has been known to say, “It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words, but rather short, easy words, like, ‘What about lunch?’”

AdaptAbility

Although all M.J. Ryan's books are great, I thought her last book, This Year I Will was a masterpiece. This book is about how to make changes we want to see happen in our lives—losing weight, changing jobs, getting organized—and it combines optimism and encouragement with some real, for-sure scientific evidence about how the brain works and why we are motivated to do the things we do with some compassionate understanding. Kind of like having an awesome mother with a Ph.D. in neuroscience who mixes a mean margarita while she cheers you on and dispenses spot-on advice—powerful, intoxicating, but also subtle and non-judgmental.

Her latest book, Adaptability: How to Survive Change You Didn’t Ask For, addresses change of a completely different kind—not happy, proactive change like New Year’s resolutions, but change that is forced upon us like getting laid off from our job, losing our retirement money in the stock market, seeing our business implode—in other words, the stuff that many of us are going through right now.

M.J.’s publisher, Broadway Books, pushed this book through the normally snail-paced publishing process quickly because this is a book that we need immediately. To quote Broadway,

“In her book, (M.J.) teaches the fundamentals needed to become a master of change, These essentials will allow you to accept the need to adapt and become aware of your internal resources…and learn how to get your brain on your side.”

The back of the book has my favorite section—20 Quick Tips for Surviving Change You Didn’t Ask For. Here are a few of my favorites:

• Because feeling in control is so crucial to resilience, and unasked-for-change can leave us feeling very out of control, try asking yourself this question during the day: What am I free to choose right now?

• When considering options, before you say something won’t work, consider how it might work. Try it on for a while.

• Get out and help someone else. When we focus on someone else’s problems, we put our own in perspective. If we focus on helping others, panic diminishes.

• What really matters here? That’s a question that will help you keep the change in proportion. A woman who lost her house was told by her minister that what she needed was a home, not a house. It helped her move to a rental with greater peace and perspective.

For the other 16 Tips, you will just have to buy the book. Or better yet, go to M.J.’s talk at Towne Center Books in Pleasanton on Wednesday, June 17 at 7:30 p.m.

See you there!

Have I Got a Book for You?!

Another Writer We Love...

One of my all-time favorite authors (and PERSON—and here’s a good time to fully disclose that we are friends) and one of the smartest people I know is M.J. Ryan.

M.J. is the brains and the inspiration behind the bazillion plus selling “Random Acts of Kindness” books. M.J. specializes in writing books about virtues—kindness, generosity, and patience—although she is the first to admit that living these virtues is a challenging and on-going learning process.

M.J. has the official “dream job” profession of “thinking partner,” in which she travels around the world, giving advice to big companies like Chevron and also individuals struggling with career and life decisions.

Of course, there are oodles of self-help/inspirational books out there, but M.J. combines the latest, cutting-edge brain research, experiences of her clients and friends with her own wisdom and a dash of spirituality to produce books that are not only fun to read, but that can actually help you and have something new to say—not an easy task in the bloated self-help arena.

M.J. mixes the practical and the exotic like the perfect salad of healthy greens tossed with a few cranberries and carmelized walnuts and balsamic vinegar for surprise and tang, but not so much to overwhelm.

Although she writes as an “expert” about virtues, she is really more like an explorer, writing “into” her books rather than writing as a “guru.”

After the big hit of Random Acts of Kindness “it started me wondering what other qualities we can cultivate to make ourselves happier and more connected to others,” says M.J. “I asked myself, “What do I need that will help me be happier? When I looked around me, I saw that happy people are kinder, more grateful, generous, and patient.”

Hailed as an expert in change in the NY Times, her new book is “Adapt-ability: How to Survive Change You Didn’t Ask For.”

Has there ever been a better timed subtitle in all of history?

More about the book later…

Making Dreams Come True

Have you ever dreamed of owning your own business—working at what you love to do, earning millions of dollars, AND making the world a better place?

If so, be sure to tune in to the May edition of In a Word to find out exactly how it is done.

This month I interview Marc Allen,

who has achieved all of these things, in spite of the fact, maybe even because of the fact, that he is lazy! Allen works a maximum of thirty hours a week, sleeping until at least 11:00 am and taking all Mondays off. Allen embraces the dreaded L-word, relishes his laid-back lifestyle and believes that it is his unique gift to the world to demonstrate and share how he lives an abundant life, full of meaning, with plenty of time for all the rest, mediation and pastimes that he loves.

He begins his book, The Type-Z (as in ZZZZZ) Guide to Success with these words:

“I’m lazy. I admit it. For years, it was one of the things that kept me from succeeding in life—after all, you’ve got to work really hard to succeed, right? That’s certainly what I was told, and certainly what I believed.”

Allen founded New World Library, the Marin-based publisher of New Age classics like Creative Visualization and The Power of Now


with Shakti Gawain when he was thirty years old, unemployed, and broke.

A failed actor and musician, Allen visualized his ideal life of owning a company that would produce his music and publish the books that he had yet to write.

How he went from struggling to pay the $65 a month rent on his “cheap little slum apartment” to the owner of a multi-million dollar business is a phenomenal story of success. Allen shares the secrets to his success in several books, including Visionary Business, the one we talk about on the show.

This interview was a real treat for me because when I moved to California from Virginia many, many years ago, my first introduction to the power of this type of positive, transformative thinking was reading Shakti Gawain’s Creative Visualization. Growing up in a traditional southern way, grounded in logic and practicality, this book, which promised that you could create your own reality by imagining it, seemed radically New Age, fruits and nuts, woo-woo. But, when in Rome, as they say…

Tossing aside my fears, doubts, and preconceived notions, I decided to give it a try, even going to Marin to take a class in Creative Visualization at Gawain’s center there.

The whole story is long, but, here’s the short version:

I had a hot pink, spiral notebook in which I wrote ten things that I wanted to create in my life. I hadn't looked at that list in years, but I recently came across it when rummaging through some old boxes:


I loved looking back on this list--a wild mix of the grandiose and superficial, meaningful core values, objective and subjective goals that only an ambitious, practical, clueless, optimist in her twenties could have created. (way before Sex in the City, I had never heard of Manolo Blahniks--my big dream was color-coordinated Nine West shoes!)

While some things are still in progress and probably always will be (travel the world, make the world a better place, shoes matching all my dresses) it is amazing to me now (so many years later) that all the objective dreams (getting married, buying a house, having babies, having a puppy, publishing something significant, drinking Dom Perignon) of a broke, young, unfocused, unconnected person like myself could have come true.

I hope you will tune into the show, listen to Marc Allen talk about making dreams come true, and then decide to create some dreams of your own.

Your Last Chance

Be sure to tune in before the end of March to see Jim Ott’s interview with Albert Rothman, author of A Brooklyn Odyssey.


Rothman, 84, of Livermore, has just published his first memoir about his childhood as a Jew in Brooklyn during The Great Depression. A perfect jumpstart for a great screenplay!

Rothman earned his Ph.D. in chemistry and chemical engineering from the U.C. Berkeley in 1954. He retired from Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory in 1986. Since then he has spent much time remembering. And writing.

Rothman's stories will take you back to a time that was simpler, sweeter, more complex, more bitter--a time that perhaps holds lessons for us all to appreicate in these tough economic times.

Read Jim's feature about Dr. Albert Rothman that appeared in The Tri-Valley Herald

And p.s.--Rothman took the very first class I taught about how to write and publish a book. He was a delight! Lots of questions! When he came to the studio for the interview, he immediately embraced me and told me that I was as beautiful today as I was then--Another Writer We Love!